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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227879">beautiful</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/synthehol_king/pseuds/synthehol_king'>synthehol_king</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Deep Space - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dysphoria, gender euphoria, trans feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:53:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>840</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227879</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/synthehol_king/pseuds/synthehol_king</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was more practical to maintain the same outward appearance, rather than giving in to any feeling that welled up inside his chest.</p><p>It was also quite limiting.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Odo/Quark (Star Trek)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>beautiful</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>cw:</b> dysphoria, fear of rejection, discussions of transphobia</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Quark stared at him, not saying a word. </p><p>It made Odo nervous.</p><p>A quiet Quark meant one of two things - that he was either furious, or simply stunned. The first he’d been fortunate enough to only encounter on brief occasions. The second he tried to inspire as often as he could, whether by delivering a particularly clever remark during an argument or by officiated their relationship with a very unexpected and very public kiss. </p><p>Context clues usually gave him an idea of which scenario he was dealing with. Now, he was lost, staring back at him with a terrified expression, frozen in his chair. </p><p>A lock of hair from his head was caught between his fingers, much longer than the rest, which he’d been idly tucking behind his ear. His hand rested on a slimmer, more curved jaw than what usually outlined his face. Little else had changed about his appearance, but it was as though the edges of his form had softened slightly, grown more curved and eased. Like he’d blurred the sharp corners of his body in an attempt to relax his appearance. </p><p>Honestly, it was hardly noticeable, save for his face. But Quark certainly noticed, judging by the intense look he was giving him. </p><p>Most people, solid people, had little motions they fell into while daydreaming, like gritting their teeth or humming or cracking their knuckles. Odo shifted. Usually it was something small, like the length of his fingers or height, which typically went unnoticed to the passerby. </p><p>This felt different.</p><p>Humanoids tended to have very particular definitions regarding the genders of their species. It was a concept that Odo struggled to fully grasp - he knew that to others, he was often assumed to be a man. This didn’t exactly bother him; his day-to-day appearance was based more on mimicry than self expression. If it were the other way around, it would be rare that Odo maintained the same appearance for more than an hour at a time; internally, there were moments he felt like shrinking down to the size of a Rafalian mouse, or exploding into a burst of light, drifting across the promenade like a tiny solar system. It was more practical to maintain the same outward appearance, rather than giving in to any feeling that welled up inside his chest.</p><p>It was also quite limiting.</p><p>Somehow the smallest changes invited the most curiosity from people. His shoulders had been  square enough to balance books ever since Chief O’Brien had made a passing remark that he was developing a slouch. Looking back, the comment may have only been a joke, or meant to be taken as sarcasm, for that matter; but it was took late to take that chance. Odo had a reputation for being rigid, and, ironically, he wanted to maintain it. No matter how exhausting it may be for him, in the long run he knew it would be easier.</p><p>It would certainly lead to fewer confrontations such as this.</p><p>Quark took a few steps toward him, sitting beside him on the window seat. His expression was calm, but cautious in what Odo suddenly realized was an attempt to be reassuring.</p><p>“I’ve never seen you with it long before,” Quark offered, nodding to the strands of hair in his fingers. “Can you...do it all over?” He raised his hands to his own head, gesturing down toward his shoulders.</p><p>Odo paused a moment, trying to find where his voice had gone. “I’ve tried. I didn’t really like how heavy it felt against my neck.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Quark nodded. “You could always go shorter,” he suggested, as casual as if he were suggesting which restaurant they should visit. </p><p>Odo opened his mouth, then closed it. Considered. Finally, he lowered his hand from his face, and stretched the length of his hair just past his ears. He glanced away from Quark’s face, until he caught a look at the light in Quark’s eye as he stared back at him. Quark raised a hand toward his face, pausing midway, looking for permission.</p><p>Odo nodded.</p><p>He ran his fingers through the ends of his feathered hair, and smiled. He traced his thumb across Odo’s cheek, following the line where his ear met his jaw. Odo stared back.</p><p>“I like it,” he murmured, and smiled. “It suits you.”</p><p>“Not all the time,” Odo answered, but he leaned into the touch. He sighed, frowning a little as he tried to voice the thoughts he kept from even himself. “I’m not sure if anything ‘suits me’ all the time.”</p><p>“But you’re still you,” Quark shrugged. “Same old Odo, dry and humorless as they come, no matter how beautiful you may be at a given moment.”</p><p>At this, Odo smiled back, tilting his head. “You think I’m beautiful.”</p><p>Once again, Quark fell silent, his face warming to a deep persimmon shade. Despite this, his smile remained, and he brought his face closer. “I think you’re a glutton for compliments.”</p><p>“Look who’s talking,” Odo smirked, closing the gap between them with a kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>for context, I am genderfluid and I see Odo as nonbinary. this was just a passing idea I had that I thought would be fun to explore/express some of my own gender/gender expression feelings through lol</p></blockquote></div></div>
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